URRRGHHHHH I’m so MAD! Did you know “Dammit I’m mad” is a palindrome? It is, and I am! I mean, so is “Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo,” but I think the Dammit one fits better.
So I guess a little background is necessary. My computer decided to blank screen; I thought it was blue screening, but no, it was much worse than that. See, whenever I let it go to sleep, it blue screens. We’re working on fixing that. Windows 10, amirite? Still, this machine isn’t nearly as slow and clunky as my old 2013 CrackBook Pro, so I use it. Plus there’s the thang with the CUDA cores… I mean I use both, but I main this one. So yeah, it didn’t blue screen. Adobe decided to commit suicide. Took down InDesign, Illustrator, and Photoshop with it. I was like, no biggie, I have backups saved of my work… right? RIIIIIGHT? NO!
IT ATE THE FREAKING BACKUPS. Well, corrupted them to the point where I couldn’t even FIND them. It basically committed seppuku on live television and laughed at me as it spilled out its internals and died!
Like what? I didn’t know it could even do that! I didn’t know that was even possible! So I trawled around in my AppData to find somewhat more recent backups. Found some new enough to be able to work with but I had to re-do about two hours of work. I work very slowly as it is. Well then. Hope you’re happy, Adobe CC 2018. Hope you’re pleased with yourself for all posterity. Cause now I’m so much in crunch time that I’m typing up this blog post on a snack break rather than blog posting time. I wish I had about five or six more middle fingers. I’d let ’em all fly.
But a Macauly Culkin picture will have to suffice.
I almost forgot his name. I was like… “Colin Creevey… no, wait, that’s that creepy camera dude in Harry Potter, what is this dude?” That’s where my brain is sitting at the moment. Fried like hash browns. Scattered, smothered, covered, cooked by a woman with a cigarette falling onto the grill. God I miss Waffle House. Last I checked though you can’t smoke there anymore and neither can the cook. LOL dammit!
So anyway, argh, this is a design blog, not a “Freyja rambles about the lady cooking her waffle in a neon yellow box in a small town in Alabama” blog. So you’d think I’d have some design, right? Well you’d be absolutely correct!
Into the ring comes Very Berry Coconut by Pacific Coast Orchard, a fruit company that doesn’t actually exist! Yay! This is my version 1.5 because for version 1.0 I couldn’t figure out how to skew the assets. SKEW ALL THE ASSETS!
I don’t like it, but it’s progress.